I Will Carry You

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything here. It’s not that I haven’t written. Some things are just better left to privacy…

These last months have been surprising—surprising in how good I feel but also surprising in what has been difficult. September seemed to drag on. That was the month we got pregnant with her last year. It was unexpectedly difficult. So many emotions floated by…at times it was overwhelming.

I miss her. So much. One of the hardest things for me to deal with right now is what could have been—how old she would be today, how big she would have gotten over the last 5 months…I can hardly believe she would have just turned 5 months old. The Lord, however, always looks to the future. He was looking to the future when His son died for us on the cross and He knew all of my days before one of them came to be. He has a solid plan, in that I am confident. I’m sure many people know what I’m talking about when I say God always has this way of revealing something to me right when I need it. A few weeks ago, a friend showed me a song. It described me. It IS me. The song starts out with the parent speaking. It so perfectly depicts the way I think and feel. Then, at the end, something amazing happens. The lyrics transition and the Lord begins to speak. It was almost as though He held me in His arms and rocked me gently the first time I heard the words. What a loving God who is willing to carry me in His arms…

I Will Carry You (Audrey’s Song) by Selah

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?


People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this


I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One who's chosen me
To carry you


Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says...

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?


I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One who's chosen Me
To carry you